I BEGIN WITH AN END TO EVERY MOMENT

2010-03-13T06:25:00.001-08:00

those who are to stay with me forever,
i shall tattoo ur name on my back one day! =D

2010-01-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

My new year couldn't have started any better because of the shit load that's been lifted onto me. Thanks. to you and you and you. here, middle finger for you and you. And you can just walk away.

2010

2010-01-01T08:21:00.000-08:00

welcoming 2010 is scary. It's funny how 2009 just passed like that. How it was filled with too many things to remember about. Old people, new people. Heartaches, Accidents, Laughters, Tears, everything you can think of.
And all became a lesson.
I am looking forward to a better start but I guess it wouldn't be any better.
First day of the year and it rained all day long, ending with a nice scoop of icecream.
What shall I do next? and where will it take me.
I'm emo on the first day of 2010.and it's not so good.
People I want to see aren't around. People I miss are too far away.
Clicking or typing messages are too frustrating incase no reply is given.
I hate it oh when people don't reply.
Abit the uncool right?
Haih, give me a better year la. Enough Karma!

2009-11-30T18:44:00.000-08:00

16th Month in 16days.
I couldn't be any happier=)

2009-11-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

Hi.
holidays are once again here and I find it sometimes, very bad.
Although I will be meeting those lovely highschool sweethearts,
I'm gonna miss those college darlings dearly.
Not only are things gonna change devastatingly after this year's end,
I'm also beginning to worry that maybe college just isn't the best FUN for me.
I've been staying home alone, the quiteness kills.
But the endless episodes of pirated Friends keeps me accompanied.
I miss Isabelle and Syazwan for one.
Cant wait for Daniel to be back.
And, I miss having those times where things move slowly.
That way, at least I can keep track of what's coming in and out of live.
God, sometimes, making friends are so hard to do.
Having good company is hard to find.
The comfort especially is painful at times.
I don't wanna have to lose what I had a year ago.
Because things were so special that I was thankful.
And I want it back that way once again.
Lots of Love. Really. Bye=D

2009-11-12T02:37:00.000-08:00

sorry for my absence, dear blog. I haven't been very excited about blogging eversince life has been loading shit on me.
and just so people would know, Im still alive and very well engaged in the Internet thanks to the marvellous amount of work load that needs resources.
bye.

2009-10-17T05:14:00.000-07:00

ok. like the one time i always blog after a long long break is always because i am TOTALLY stressed.
so see, im doing my assignment now which is due this monday. and i have NO idea what im crapping about. IMA FAIL! shit lah got stupid bongos playing some more. not helping.
and then ah tmr have to like meet up to discuss about PR assignment due wednesday and finish a video by thursday.
degree is killing me!
im goin to throw a rock at the trumpet player now.
BYE!

2009-10-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

This is what HAMSE will be making for me when the sun comes up.
Much LOVE!

2009-10-04T04:20:00.000-07:00

I never knew this side of you.
The one that makes me so happy.
I cant stop giggling.
Your presence is like WOW!
i love you baby.
and I'm glad i can say i know you do too=)

2009-10-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

See, There are many reasons why sometimes, girls tend to be ultra insecure.because men will always be men.
And girls will always nitch in every power they hv to Make sure their man is their own.
Resulting to vulgar and rudeness in order to push an outsider? Well..not quite nice, nit quite smart.
This is he the downgrading of women happen.
And if ur unlucky, this outsider, who may claim to b just as bitchy as you can definitely tk u dwn.
No..not for the man, not worth it. But for her very own satisfaction.
She might even tk ur threat as a challenge to further pursue her intentions.
Lucky you, that is highly impossible with me.
Bcz as the outsider, I choose to hav let go a long time ago.
So do yourself a favor and suck up. Don't be intimidated, I'm not gonna harm ur poor self and the man u have claim to tear apart a long while ago.

Xoxo

2009-09-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

Thank You for giving me more reasons to have make the right decisions.

2009-09-27T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today is the day where isabelle WONG HUI YAT was brned 19years ago at like 7.15am according to her mum.
and also, today is the day whereby one year ago, Syazwan Zainal and Isabelle drooled with eachother.
SO, HAPPY BRTHDAY! and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
im still ahead =D
muahaha

with that, i shall also complain about how sometimes,
some people can be sometimes very very childish.
oh yeah. according to the birthday chick, i should suck it up and be an adult.
I can honestly say that it kinda hurt -KINDA.
but dear god, seriously?
be a man! u not doin the right thing u know?
k lah. u dont know what im talking about right?
but then again, some things really shudnt be avoided in sucha manner that is far too obvious.
thanks.

VIPs on ARTHURS DAY!

2009-09-26T13:32:00.001-07:00

ok so here are the few pics from arthurs day. celebrating 250years!
so like only 5cities in the world was celebrating, and the parties were ongoing for 36hrs in total. be proud, as kuala lupur is one of them! awessome=)
BEP was totally great! along with othr local and international artistes.
anyhoodles..steph was there too.
as for the VIP passes, THANK YOU DADDYYY!!!!
so there will never be another arthurs day for us to see, as it's only celebrated every 250yrs. wow! =D

2009-09-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

sorry people for the non updates since forever.
anyways everything has been awesome. like superb. better than i could ever imagine.
although there are some other things left out lying around.
I went for Arthur's Day with BEP! VIP bitches!
it was sucha bomb. so thanks daddy. pictures? soon =)
ISABELLE's bday is in 2days now and steamboat is waiting for us tmr.
ntg much la.
holiday damn boring.
but the quality time spent with eachother,
beautiful!

2009-09-08T23:51:00.000-07:00

wats on playback? -stolen by dashboard confessional.

i havent felt so stupid with myself for quite a while now.
never have i let somebody's mood swings interrupt my day so badly.
what is wrong with you?
how does one turn a smile into a frown in less than 30 minutes, on the same table, with the same people?-so cool.
if i miss u this much, i really wonder what for?
ur not tryna make things better for us.
suck it up and tell me what u want.
be it to have me around, or to have me NOT around.
just fucking say it to my face because i'm man enough to take it.
stop with the mood swings.
stop playing with it.

2009-09-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

hello from mcdonalds.
isabelle, andre, hamse and I are currently stressing in our own world with many different reasons.
Not only have i been really really stressed about my own problems,
i am creating havoc in my own head where i stress on the smallest things.
i want to go swimming and relax.
let the sun soak it all up.
we are leaving back home now. 643am.
yes, nocturnal people. thats what we are.

2009-09-03T13:16:00.001-07:00

just say something to me.
anything.
scream at me, make me cry.
i dont care whatever it may be.
just do it.
just dont ignore me.
please.

KBL

2009-09-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

Because I know you'll be reading this,
it is important that you know where I'm coming from.
Despite the grief and the pain I've put you through,
and despite me being selfish,
I hope that with all your heart,
you will believe that what we had was something beautiful.
I miss you,
yes i do.
I miss the adventures and laughters,
I miss how you cared for me,
and how you showed me that you do.
And because I know how much we loved the way we were,
I will never understand how I am able to hurt you this bad.
I am truly sorry,
although that is never goin to be enough, ever.
But I thank you.
With all my heart, I thank you.
For helping me realise the good in men.
For helping me understand myself more.
And I know what we had meant something too.
I will never doubt that.
But I am sorry I had to make a decision that doesnt go your way,
and I am sorry I kept you waiting for nothing.
And I am sorry I couldn't be the person you thought I was.
I admit I dragged things a lil too long,
But it was because I was selfish.
I was afraid of losing something this good.
I was afraid I'd be making a mistake,
and Im still afraid this is a mistake.
But I'll never know I guess.
Maybe not until you're gone.
Because truth to be told,
I do not deserve you to be treating me this well.
And you definately do not deserve this decision.
I wish I could have given you what you reli deserve,
But then again, you will rise and fall.
I have helped you rise once.
But this time,
maybe You'd find somebody who can help you rise higher.
and <3 this, I will never forget.

2009-08-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

i have a week holiday due to the H1N1 case in taylors.

no, i am not infected so sorrry to burst ur bubbles=)

hehe im so bored, as thr is absolutely nothing to look forward to.

we are deciding on moving out this year end as our college will be far off our current apartment,

plus we want andre to start paying for rent and bills bcz him living in our home for free is totally absurd.

hehe but he has paid his debts by cleaning the entire house today while everybody was still asleep.

good boy =)

A CURSE IS NEEDING TO DECIDE

2009-08-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

good evening peeps.
its been quite a boring week where we've been killing ourselves with assignments that probably, just maybe, even God cant do.
I just read Steph's blog and sometimes I wish i read it earlier because i wish i was thr to make things better for her. Karma kills alot of people spiritually and emotionally and I wish I could just help her voice out to those who can't really be there for her when she needs them to be.
Apart from that, Sara is here, with her bruised hip from ice skating! HA-HA!
I also saved a cat with Andre. It was soaked and smelly, dirty all together. I took him home and its legs are like broken or something. It cant stand up and Im having trouble gettin someone to take me to the animal shelter because I am not about to look into losing another cat.
But Hamse named it AKON. haha! =D
maybe he is the on egettin attached to it.

2009-08-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

HI.

Im very very exhausted. Im very very bored. Im so seriously ill.

The amount of words that are on the next window is terribly painful.

I cant concentrate as the cold is killing me and the teh tarik isnt hot anymore.

The sound from the television is killing me. ManU-BIR.

im thirsty.

im so so annoyed.

how can there be so much to read about vocal developmetn when really, i dont get it at all.

i miss sara and steph.

i miss home.

I wanna relax. yoga! =d

yes.

no updates.

just butterflies =D

2009-08-10T08:44:00.001-07:00

i need to make a decision.
because its hurting too many people.
and because Im the reason,
it hurts me too.

2009-07-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

hey darlings!
today will be my lastnight out with people bcz like sat and sun imma be mashed up with shopping before i leave back to KL =)
so tonight we are gna be at FIREFLY, apparently the latest addition to KK's entertainment sector.
Will upload pics like when im back in KL cuz i didnt bring my cable this time.
And, that reminds me that i need to charge the camera.
so anyways,
things have been pretty chilled, ntg amazing abt parties watsoever.
haha so my KK trip here this time is very very homey =)
and i loved it,
especially the FOOD!

plus, my hangover yesterday was amazingly uncool.
it hurt my brain a lil too mch and like i puked all day long.
4human+2bottles.
cannot! not me at least. haha
bubye!
and im anti drinking tonight.

2009-07-21T08:48:00.001-07:00

hi.
im giving it another chance.
because I know its probably worth it.
So i dont care what you or you or you think.
It's my life.

2009-07-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

I will try put it all behind me because maybe the relationship is worth saving.
I hope for him to put in as much effort as he can into making it better, and making me happier like I deserve to be,
Because I need a reason to stay.
And my own isn't enough.
It won't matter what I go home to,
but as long as he is there, to welcome me,
that maybe enough.
(ROSES, KISSES, SMILES?) hehe
so yes,he is carrying the huge responsibility to pick up all the shattered pieces of my heart.
Its All or Nothing.
familiar? yes, cuz its true bitches!

2009-07-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

will there be flowers in your hands when im home?
will there be a kiss on my forehead and a hug so tight that would comfort me?
will i see a reason to smile at you when i see you again?
can i be the person that i was before?
will i forgive & forget.
will i free this screw up.
and will i be ready to give you my heart again.
will you show me you really care,
and that you are really a part of this love.
will you show me you really want me to stay,
and that you would do everything for me in return.
because i need a reason to be here.
because i need a reason to be in your heart.
and i need a reason to give you a space in my heart too.
woaahh...will there be?

im goin to soak up the sun in sutera harbour tomoro.
i will get the sunburn that i miss,
and i will wear that bikini i never wore before.
i will meet up with the girls ive spent my highschool days with,
and finally speak chinese like i used to again =)
goodnight everybody.
i love you.
and i still miss him.
stupidly.

2009-07-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

after a whole day of laughing and watching Fong be a monkey,
i still come home feeling empty.
like my heart still hasnt been mended.
If i could do one thing right now,
it would be stabbing the heart out of you.
Not only have u taken away all the pretty rainbows away from me,
you've also taken away the many reasons for me to keep staying in this relationship.
The only thing that kept me with you before this was that I know you'd never do what other jerks have done to me, that maybe you were different like you said.
And yes, you've proved me RIGHT. you were never, ever different.
Boys and their alcohols. and the girls.
very fascinating.
I will always always understand.
and i will never understand how patient I can be with boys like you.
NEVER.

2009-07-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

hi people im very very frustrated.
VERY FUCKING FRUSTRATED.
not only will I be very frustrated for another whole week,
i would also be very frustrated at almost eerybody.
So yes, fuck you, you and you.
If i could send a middle finger like by poslaju, I would. two middle fingers. for you and her.
or maybe id just like cut yours and send it to her, and cut hers to send it to you.
so very awesome.

I hope the GUILT keeps you awake
just as much as
the Pain keeps me awake.

FARK!!!

2009-07-15T10:40:00.001-07:00

hey guys.im very much anticipating the final results. like I dunno when its coming loh!
so anybody who knows, tell me! =D
the times at home that ive spent so far wasnt much fun, yet. hehe settling down bah.
Im looking forward to island this friday! =D OMG!
im still wondering when results coming out.

I MISS THE BOYFRIEND!!!
call me la.
gdnight.

2009-07-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

hey sweethearts. I know I know.

Im supposed to be in KK now but i fucking missed my flight.

This is officially the most terrible and irresponsible thing Ive ever encountered.

Wasnt totally my fau

lt. The very nice fren was supposed to take me to the airport,

and had already like agreed to do so the night before.

Unfortunately, HIS plan changed at the very

last minute when he was supposed to come get me, at 730pm.

So then I had to call

Daniel for the rescue. and he was having a family dinner.

I probably wrecked it. He had crabs, very yummy!

ok so like 830pm he rushed over my place, my flight is at 950p

m, MAS. so go figure.

we drove at like 140-160km/hr. gt there in no time, at like 920pm.

which was when they closed the stupid doors. and totally forfieted my ticket.WHAT THE HECK MAN, so much for MH-malaysian hospitality. jesus.

like give chance la, 30mins more

what, the pilot probably still taking a shit in the toilet.

anyhow, no chance was given. i had to purchase new ticket.

Next flight to KK - bzness class, 730am at rm965. OMFG!

Next flight to KK-economic class, 3pm at rm 656. Still OMFG!

AirAsia, you the best.

so my next flight to KK is like in the night.tomoro.

sorry guys, no dimsu

m and bukit padang sotong kangkung tmr.

BUT BUT BUT!!!!

THANKS SO MUCH DANIEL!!!

you are a life saviour and you are indeed a FRIEND =D lots of love.

cant believe you're leaving and that ws the last time we gonna meet till ur back.

but u are awesome! superb!!!! woot woooottt!!!!

this is Daniel btw.

2009-07-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

hi there little ppeople. its 4am and im not asleep yet, yes i know. im very unhealthy.

Anyways, i was out earlier with YIM who went all missing for more than half a year.
It was great cathcing up with him =D
hamse is watching transformers2 again on tv. he Finally got the dvd.
WOW! hehe but OMG shia labeouf! =P i like him and screw you if u dont.
I DONT CARE!

2009-07-11T02:21:00.000-07:00

Im glad we arent the kind who needs a fancy dinner because Mcdonalds is rocking.

Im glad we don't need to have dates all the time because just sitting around in a boring room can be exciting.

Im glad that we haven't stayed mad at eachother for more than two days because in the morning after a fight, we get kisses.

Im glad we are goin into the 11th month.

Because we are just the simplest two.

Lalalala!!! =D

bye.

2009-07-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

THIS is far too awesome!

FINALS is over & it was easier than I thought! WWOOOTT!!

hehe we have finally finished our foundation and will be moving up into degree.

such an amazement.

and dear God, the fees are incredibly uncool.

I'm hungry btw.

and I can't wait to be home.

the food! glorious food! =D so yeah.

bye

2009-07-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

I believe I am not ready for tomorrow's FINAL exam.

I woke up at 3pm today, had a clean up donein the living area, sat my ass down and started writing down notes onto my lil book. by 12am, I was of course, at the brink of finishing the copies.

But, I have not gone thru the shit i've written down! have not memoriZed shit, and im in need of coffee.

It's 1.55am, nd i decided to go to sleep instead. Im in my room now,sadly, cant fall asleep.

too insecure. havent studied lah! cheeebbbbaaaiiiii..

sometimes, its just too much for last minute studying.

and i miss hamse. he went for badminton. how very oddly cute=)

and yes, he is still out.

ok im gonna like study. try, to study.

like Media Appreciation is so totally appreciated homey!!!

thumbs up to my ass brain.

im bullcrapping.

so bye.

2009-06-26T22:37:00.000-07:00

It's the start of the day today. I just woke up.

I'm home alone, sadly. got my hot milo tho =D

I'm currently really broke, like flat broke kinda broke.

the one where you don't even have a cent to spare?

yeah. THAT broke.

I can't wait to go home and feed myself with all the good food!

bak kut teh, laksa, dimsum!

i wana eat seafood.

i wana drink all the soup that mummy and grandma can make!

i wana eat eat eat!!!!

weeeee~!!

k lah bye.

Dearest Daddy <3

2009-06-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have no idea where to begin about my daddy.
It's daddy's day and i know i didn't have a post on mum's day but all should know obviously how close my relationship with my mum is. I somehow know that she knows i love her.
But often, I wonder does my dad know how much I truly appreciate all that he has done for me?
Because I do, I love him as much as I can. I'm always daddy's little girl inside.
I remember the stories that my mum told me,
How he was excited to receive his first baby girl.
I remember the time where he put in efforts into making a photo collage in a frame of me and him.
The one favourite that I always have in my head was me laying on his chest while he has that wonderful smile on his face.
I was just a litttle itsy bitsy baby.
Then I also remember once, I was sleeping.
And I woke up to probably the first present I remember,
A Swatch watch.
It was round aand rubber, I remember well =)
Then my mum had told me that it was from my dad.
How he loved me so much and that I should treasure the watch.
Amazing how that made me so touched.
Sadly, I broke the watch. Orimary school never allowed that colour. I kept it in my schoolbag where I accidentally crashed it. I never told my parents.
I didn't wanna hurt my daddy.
I also remember the 2007 christmas, where I celebrated it in Cocoon.
When 12am striked, I hugged my daddy.
He held on to me tight. And my dad and I never had such relationship.
He always seem speechless, me too.
But that hug, it melted my heart. I teared without him knowing.
It was beautiful. I felt his presence and how much he cared.
I love my dad. More than I ever showed him
I lovee how he calls once in a while when im here in KL.
I love how sometimes my mum tells me that he asked how Im doing.
Despite the fact that I never said I LOVE YOU to him,
i want him to know that i truly do.
That if I had a time to tell him so, I would.
And he is the best dad I'd ever ask for.
I wouldn't blame him for anything, not the bads, not the sadness.
I know that whatever he has done,
he always had his family in mind.
I know he workd hard, tries hard to achieve things in life.
He may not have been the millionaire dad,
but he is MY dad.
The first men I ever ever was close to.
As his first child, first daughter, I'm proud.
The disappointments I caused befre and recently,
the times you hada to receive calls from teachers on my inappropriate behaviour in high school and the absence I've been giving to college classes,
I'm truly sorry. And embarassed.
But I hope he knows that deep down, All that I try to achieve is o make him proud. Make me worth his effort.
When my grandpa passed away, I was dying inside to tell my daddy I'm there for him.
I wanted to give him the hug that said It's Going to be Okay.
It's all for you daddy, everything I do today.
It's to make you and mummy proud.
I love you both.
Happy Father's Day!!
You'll always be my number 1 man =D

STEPHANIE HO MEI LING's PRIORITIES TO ME ME & ME!!!

2009-06-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Miss Mei Mei,

You have been assigned to fulfil the following criterias in order to stop me from being very very hurt that you've been too busy for the famous ME.

Please do not feel free to even try to refrain yourself from anny of these!

Please & Thank You , Love.

1. Take me out for honey milk & in return, you'll STILL HAVE your sushi next month.

2. Update me on what's what, who's who and God knows what other things you've been keeping.

3. Show me your deteriorated pool skills, then let me win.

4. Take Sara Jade Berkarat out when she touches her ass down here.

5. Show me the things you spent your maney on like water.

6. TEXT ME WHEN YOU'VE READ THIS.

And here are my updates.

Im awesomely happy that Sara has finally found something to look forward to. HAHA.

She gonna be environmentalist and the bimbo that she is, I doubt she'd survive being environment friendly.

Steph, as you can see.. has been locking herself and drowning in the happiness of Thomas & Guys, not that I'm jealous, but geez!! give me sum credits! I went with u to the interview lorh! you dont want fren me liao meh?

hehe

AND OF COURSE, i'll be back in KK! 12th July so people, keep your ass up high! we gonna shake it HARD!

BUBYE =D

2009-06-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

I feel one's absence.

I think I know this person's true feelings.

How it hurts? - When it's all silent. That's how.

I'm too stressed. So many things are coming in and out of my fucking mind.

Assignments never seem less. Thank God research paper is done, which leaves its presentation.

Reviews. and shit finals.

If only life was more enlightening than keeping the couch warm at home.

If only people were more exciting, sharing, and caring.

With the actions they show, feelings they portray. Sometimes it becomes far too obvious.

And sometimes it seems that helping others is just too hard for him/her.

I feel my heart wanting to run wild.
I wanna scream.

Explode into anger, and then cry about things.

Then laugh at how ugly my sore eyes are after.

Things, just are never, ever, ever easy.

2009-06-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

hi people.

Its been a long weekend.

Family came down, went to port dickson.

The resort, so called resort, yeah sucked to bits!

It was the ugliest thing ive ever seen. no beach no ntg.

But the room were pretty=)

next day we drovve down to malacca, A Famosa.

Excitement turned into utter surprise when we saw the endless roads and properties being not well maintained.

It was UGLY!.. like so sad that its going down the drains.

Then we went to the so called animal safari.

Not only was i almost in tears seeing them suffer,

but I had to see how shitty the people were treatin the trained animals during the show, in front of tonnes of audience.

The animals, they werent kept well.

The greens, huh? what greens?

And i saw a deer almost dying.

It was thin and dead.

I can't believe how people would just rip others off just for profit.

It cost rm48 for adults and rm38 for kids, to see dying animals. To see deserts.

GOD! those animals are better off in the wild!

SIALAN!

anyhu, had real good crabs from seremban, very very good!

and then durians =P Like wtf rightt? 1kg = RM1

awesome!

im real tired now.

I just check student portal,

OMFG. 7 absence for psychology.

im too cool.

2nd day without DAISY

2009-06-02T03:16:00.000-07:00

The vets called me earlier this afternoon.

They were informing me about her cremation.

It still hurts. Im not over her death.

I talked to my mum about the tattoo lastnight.

Turns out, she wan't happy at all. No parent would be.

I cried for hours lastnight.

It was so quiet without the purple bell jingling with joy.

I miss her. SO MUCH.

Today, i spoke to my mum again.

Made her understood why i did the tatt.

She was amazing about it. I love her.

I really miss Daisy.

It's just hard to accept her absence.

IN LOVING MEMORIES OF DAISY

2009-06-01T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have always find grey as the most beautiful colour for a cat.

When I first came to KL, it seemed lonely.

When I decided to get a cat, I got one.

The most beautiful thing ever, the first little timid cat in its white cage.

The only Grey cat.

We named her DAISY.

It hasn't even been a year that I had her, but God knows how much I love her.

How tight our bond was.

She knew very well how to be the

best companion.

Despite the stupid noises I get from certaain people about her,

never have I once thought abot letting her go.

Then

for the last two weeks, she stopped eating gradually.

Her condition deteriorated.

She started staying in the dark.

Lastnight, while Hamse & I were on youtube,

I saw her came out from under the stairs,

She stumbled. She couldn't balanced herself.

She fell, and she cried.

I couldn't believe how sick she became.

The next morning,

on the way out of the door,

I checked on Daisy hoping she could wait till later for the vet.

No.

She laid there, upper body in cage, lower body outside.

She must have wanted to sleep well, but she collapsed.

She couldnt carry herself.

It hurt so much. I can't believe it.

Thank God she was still with me.

The vet said she has final stage of a viral infection.

I couldnt take it.

She couldnt blink, couldnt move.

20% chances to live.

I left her there, hoping for her to get better.

Her skin was yellowing too.

Hours later, I called to get an update.

Turns out " Im Sorry, She died an hour ago".

The pain, it didn't sink in.

She's gone.

She's gone!

It hurts to just type this.

Im never gonna hear that meow again.

See that face, watch the tail wag.

Never.

Then I've always wanted my first tattoo to be something meaningful.

And yes, DAISY was the right one.

With Lots Of Love, Always Remembered,

2009-05-29T02:14:00.000-07:00

piles of assignments are starting to load off.

I'm almost dead.

Another hard decision that needs to be made.

I cried too much,

its not just a pet.

It's daisy.

2009-05-26T04:17:00.000-07:00

I am doin an assignment on how to have a long-lasting relationship for social psychology.

And i realised that my relationship sometimes have not even half of the fuck im writing.

The anger i feel inside makes me wanna scream my heart out.

And sometimes I wonder,

do I really need him to stay.

2009-05-24T01:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you just sit and think

'Why is this happening again?'

You should really sit and think again that

'Maybe there is something wrong with me,

something that others cant accept / understand.'

Then you shall continue sitting & thinking

'I should drop watever-that-u-think people can't stand.'

So, for your sake,

Stop blaming things on other.

Cuz sometimes,

It's more than what you think.

off to studying.

2009-05-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

oh,hello there.
It is 5am on a 23rd of may. No, i have not had my goodnight sleep.
Been up the last few hrs playing texas holdem.
Isn't it amazing how time really actually does fly? like the speed of light.
its to fast for me to keep up.
Before i know it, its moral exam on monday and the hand in of assignments.
No, havent got started on the studying or the assignments.
Too soon to start apparently.

Hey you know how there is always the other side of a story?
The one which u have never listened or hearf off?
The one you choose to not listen and believe in?
Yeah, you should hear it out.
Cuz then ur judgement is solely based on stupidity.
I AM NOT THE BAD ONE.
Yes, i may have been a heartbreak.
BUT, ever stop to think why did i HAD to break that heart?
AND! if he chooses to make a decision, then its his problem.
If i was the reason for his decision, then its his problem too!
Because I, did not ever even started to think about having him back in my life,
For i have wonders like Hamse.
And really, I did not make him make that decision.
So it is NOT my fault, or my blame to take.
This symphatizing he does, NOT COOL.
NOT COOL AT ALL.

I bid u farewell

2009-05-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

im desperately in need of a pain killer. I have a headache being caused by all the movements around me.

I feel things are moving too fast now. And soon, he will be gone.

I don't know, and certainly would not wna know how i'll feel that day.

What's it going to be to have me watching him go off into that terminal,

disappear into the crowd of travellers.

I'm never going to see him again.

What is the picture of his last disappearance goin to be like?

one month. 30 damn days.

That's all?

happy 9th monthsary sweetheart.

it was on the 17th. and it was his birthday too=)

but since i've been lazy to update since then,

its up now!

oh headache.

2009-05-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

I just woke up from my nap, will be draggin my ass for english test once belle and syaz comes down.

very tired, headache. soar eye. just the left one.

I got hamse's old perfume on, smells like the past. It was a good past.

I'd long for this smell when he is gone, along with today and all the tomorrows as the past in the coming future.

Aiyah, u dont understand the sentence then its ur fault.

Steph is going back home, KK. how i long to go home too.

Everything is so dull. and i realised how at Home, I never come up with the description DULL.

2009-05-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

little things are beginning to be more annoying.

I've been nothing but a grumpy lady.

The exams seems endless and is not helping.

I need something new, exciting.

This life is gettin too old, im angry at it everyday.

2009-05-18T02:33:00.000-07:00

Party was awesome.

Goodbye.

A post for STEPHANIE HO MEI LING

2009-05-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

YOU GOT THE SCHOLARSHIP!
I CAN GET FREE HAIRCUTS!

LOVE YOU LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH!

hehe im so proud of you babe!

CONGRATULATIONS!

2009-05-13T21:53:00.001-07:00

She thought & thought about it.

What will the answer ever be?

She got caught in between, she doesnt know where it belongs.

How will this regret ever leave her?

2009-05-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

people just never listen. never understand. And NEVER stop pretending to be clueless!

oh im goin arnd calling other boys darling.dear.blah. No, not really! you are Disgusting.

How much of flirting from that bitch will he be gettin, and how much is she gonna go thru to be the oh so slut!

omfg. Back off bitch. really seriously.

You have no idea what I can do,&

no idea how far i would go.

That little excuse 'we are more open minded(cz we arent fr msia) so we call eachothr dear etc'. OMG its the oldest trick in the book.

flash ur puss to the world if ur THAT open minded why dontcha?

2009-05-13T02:32:00.000-07:00

4days to birthday! =) yippee.

4days to pick a present? OMG!

2009-05-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

woke up at 230pm by a call from daniel.

Headed down to AC for lunch & Left4Dead. Then played pool.

Grocery shopping up to rm130. We are very hungry people.

Came home, found Daisy the cat missing.Ran up the rooftop, called out her name. Nothing.

Went downstairs, ran around 17th floor, called out her name. Nothing.

Azrul called from the top, found Daisy under a roof.

Tried to call her out, over & over. Didn't work.

Her meow got louder.

I went closer to her side, she ran out, passed Hamse and onto the othr side of the roof.

Followed her, ran after her.

Pulled her from under the roof thing, I was 17th floor high.

No balcony, just a few bricks stacked with cement up to my knee.

I conquered the fear of height.

Ask me to do it again?

NEVER!

Saved Daisy, spanked her.

Let her have some milk, Kissed her head-she meowed.

Reminder : Buy cat breath mints!!

2009-05-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

its 830 in the morning and class isnt till 10.

Isabelle & Syaz are still aslp and the thing is,

I didnt have any,literally.

I was up since 2am(yeah i slept fr 11pm-2am) then i was up the entire night!

I finished my book review then, which is good. Cuz i had to re-do the whole thing yo!

it disappeared in Belle's ppendrive,omg right?

I need coffee.

2009-05-05T03:26:00.000-07:00

HE SINGS:

So lately been wondering,

Who will be there to take your hand.

When Im gone,

You need Love;

To light the shadows on your face.

***

SHE SINGS:

If I could,

Then I would.

I'll go wherever You will go.

Way up high, or down low,

I'll go wherever you will go.

***

HE SINGS:

And maybe,

I'll find out a way to make it back someday.

To watch you,

to guide you;

Through your darkest day.

***

SHE SINGS:

Run away with my heart.

Run away with my hope.

Runaway with my LOVE.

I know now, just quite how;

My Life & Love might still go on.

In your heart, In your mind;

I'll stay with you for all of time.

SHE THINKS:

He is still leaving.

from the song, Wherever You Will Go-The Calling.

2009-05-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

The many years have passed.

And he is STILL being dazzled by her.

If she Breaks his Heart again,

She is so dead.

And no, this doesnt apply to myself.

So i bid u the best=)

Vulnerable

2009-05-04T03:20:00.000-07:00

yeah, 2ndhand serenade. I love.

I think lying has become easier for you.

2009-05-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

She doesnt intend to be selfish.

But their days are being numbered.

She wants more than just waking up on his arms.

She wants him to care a little more,

To make the smarter choices.

He walks out on her,

choosing bullcrap over the love she has for him.

She waits for him to come back home.

Its only midnight,

he isnt even close to thinking about goiong home.

2009-05-03T03:07:00.000-07:00

we have found a new entertainment for a perfect boring sunday.

POKER ON FB!

so bye.

2009-05-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

YOU JUST WONT FUCKING LISTEN

2009-05-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?

2009-04-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

its 4am and i cant sleep. im sure the rest of the little people are off to dreamland.

Im bored. hamse is back, finally. chilled today. went for pool, ate, watched van wilder.

And for the last time, Hamse..

The name is TAJ BA-DA-LAND-ABAD!

2009-04-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

my lovely man is in Penang having his fun since ystrday when syaz, belle and I moved our furniture fr the top to the bottom of the house again. It was awesome=D then dinner, hehe u wish u were here too! we cooked for the very first time with an equipped set of everything. yumm yummm!
so then in the night, the 3 of us cool people went to Izzudin's place where syaz, amirul and iz were goin all out on their PS2 football.
Just so u know, Syaz LOST! =P
Belle and I on the other corner of the room, was goin all out on the I Touch with this Trap the Mouse game. It was cool ok!
Then we watched Chealsea's game at 3am where Belle and Iz fell asleep.
We, including Amirul, then left Iz's house to AC cyber! LEFT 4 DEAD! oh yes!
Unfortunately, stupid comp had problem, the game kept exiting itself. Ugh. Then we had breakfast, at like 730am.
And then ah.. I tell u,the ride back home was insane
We hit jackpot with the NO Sleep hyperness. HEHE=)
SNOW CAR WASH! yea funny right?
stop laughing lah!
we finally slept, woke up at 3pm, and then been home all day till now.
Friggin boring loh, tmr got class at 8am.
Belle & Syaz's shower is taking so damn long.
We are suppposed to have coffee=(

5AM

2009-04-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

ok its like 5am.
im stuck in izzudin's house with amirul,syaz and belle.
done with chelsea's match, no we werent supporting them.
WAS chatting with DARREN and this asshole totally made me guess the last number to his whole KK number. And i called like 9 unknown people.
The last number that i tried, he got disconnected fr Msn and IS NOT coming back online.
Mother-F.
aiyoh lah..
&
our house DAMN clean=D
pretty pretty homey.
si bullshitter aint around anymore, the home seems prettier!

WHAT A FCKKING PITY

2009-04-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

so the manny CRAPS we have been listening and dealing with is finally over. We will not hold grudge against this person for we pity her. why?
We pity how she needs to brag about herself to be confident. The lies she has to tell to help herself feel needed and appreciated. The tales of sympathy she tells with her once upon a daddy's little girl crap.
Oh god, I pity how she had to lie and not have enough proof to cover it. And we pity how she had to move her furniture out while recovering from so called operations. We pity how she had to Fight for her money back, when maybe..just maybe there wasn't at all money to begin with.
Oh Lord have mercy. For she knows nothing about honesty. For she believes in made up tales to have friendship.
WHAT A FUCKING PITY!

2009-04-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

I MISS THIS BIG BUGGER=D
the only one who would dance with me till he steps on his glasses without realizing.
and then laughs it away!

2009-04-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

so today was so tiring.
belle and I took trains here and thr just to get to Low Yat.
AND YES i got my laptop=D
yay!
the boys have been busying themselves with a project involving modelling clay, stop motion as if.
haha! ok i malas update
thts basically it.

supposedly a blog on isabelle wong hui YAT AHH!

2009-04-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

turns out that the nights before where we go "OMG DAMN BORING LO" wouldnt beat this night here.
theres belle on my right blogging too.
and behind me lies azrul dead asleep on the floor.
Syaz is i his room asleep, probly with his eyes open. but asleep.
Daisy downstairs laying in a small couch.
and hamse is 17 floors below watching FA CUP & eating.
Darren went to bed miles away from malaysia.
and he is the best to talk to, never lets me go unless i get his point of LIVING LIFE WHEN UR BROKE!

aiyo why lah so boring?
belle got raisin bun on her head. she claims i got chocolate bun on mine?
Jesus, can this get any worse?
we are not sleeping anytime soon, nope.
we are gonna stay up. DO WAT LAH!? ngaisat..

haiya isabelle.. no strenght to blog about you lah.
i wanna go pee pee..
gdnight to u lazy ppl!

2009-04-16T10:48:00.001-07:00

and im happy we made it this far.
The laughters haven't been so loud.
and Baby,
HAPPY 8th MONTHSARY!

2009-04-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

Thank You
=)

Can't say I don't Love you more each day.

EMPTY

2009-04-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Many things has been down lately.
I can tell you that the smileys will soon fall apart.
Id soon be crying more than ive ever did in a night ever in my life.
And these changes...
will soon be done.
Not by me, NO. Cuz i can't, NO IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH.

2009-04-05T01:50:00.000-07:00

you got a problem with me blogging 3 times in a row within 2+hours?
well then go kill yourself.

anyways,i came across somewhat very realistic matters while bein reli bored online alone,
As to the fact that the sun is still up and tht means sleeping hours for the rest of the bodies here.
And to the point.
'Men help woman to find that certain level of where they actually belong. A certain man helps a certain woman to realize that she shouldn't have to strive to be perfect because she is perfect the way she is. Since a certain man creates that for the certain woman there is a precious thing called love and leads to the main factor of creating new life.'
'Women need to feel loved, envied, and desired. Most of the time, women look to men to fill this need.'-(random blogger fr xanga)

AS TO THAT,
maybe, just maybe
that's why im Angry most of the time.

A COPY FROM http://bingiskewl.blogspot.com

2009-04-05T00:56:00.000-07:00

today is too boring so i decided to go looking at blogs.
remembered that Fong has a blog so i decided to check it out.
This caught my attention,Widely. And caused me a few teardrops.

the girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21. Next to her, her fiance, Nick, 23. The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on january 11, 2005 in the US. Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication. In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of quimo to end.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss.
An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well. The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see her son marrying his high school sweetheart.
Katie, in her wheelchair, with the oxygen tube, listening to a song from her husband and friends.
At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests. The pain do not let her to be standing up for long periods.
Katie died.. fives days after her wedding day.. watching a woman so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think.. happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last.. we should stop making our lives complicated?

could you smile knowing that ur gonna die real soon.. ?

HELP ME UNDERSTAND. please.

2009-04-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

so I know how things should always work both ways.
but why is it that i somehow feel like we never know what we are doin for eachother?
there's been too much disfunctions and yet its always gonna be this way.
As far as im concerned, nothing's been regretted,
and for all that has happened the last few days,
I THANK ISABELLE WONG for all greatness she has done.

her last post was partially abt bein life-impactting towards one/many.
I believe she has impacted mine=D
a friend so true,i hope she stays crazy,
for i'll still love her even when she has a BIG FAT SWOLLEN EYE=D
muahahaha!

and also,life's been goin up and down too fast.
changes take place so easily, i lost track of my own life and time.
I'm gettin sick, sick of being too busy for myself.

2009-03-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

so its a tuesday. 9 more days till im back in KL.
this trip back home was kinda relaxed. Not much outings and late nights=D i know right? WOW!
last saturday, sara, fong and ivan + me totally went to the lok kawi zoo.
ive reli never been thr and omg was i like SO seriously sakai.
haha after we walked the whole damn zoo and saw things ive nvr seen b4,
sara totally made us walked uphill just to see few snakes, a stupid biawak and a million alligators.
malas upload pics la. ISH!
and OMG did u guys totally watched LIVERPOOL?
cuz if u didnt, u suck.
Bye now=)

2009-03-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

WORST FEAR:
NEEDING TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

not only will she miss you,
she'll lose all she needed.

2009-03-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

Malacca trip was AWESOME!
Good Food!=)
Syazwan's obessed cat, OLENG, is as big as my upper body.
Pics with Isabelle, UPLOAD!

and oh
HOME TOMORROW!
SARA #1 to be rocked=D

2009-03-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

POKER NIGHT.
wellplayed,Hamse=)
Winner of ALL games.
hehe
so here, a gas station shopping mart/watever,
belle and i stuffed ourselves with kuaci.
spent rm25 each in Poker, only to lose it all.
AWESOME!!

MOST OF ALL,
IM GOING HOME ON A LAST MINUTE TICKET BOOKING.
16th March.
See You Monkeys.
And Bid me BUBYE crazies.

2009-03-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Ok Im really sorry that im really bored. Id probably start writing things that dont make sense.
Im really sleepy but its lik an hour and a half till anybody wakes up.

You know how when you're in love with someone and everything you do just seems right,
then when it ends, you go thinking.. WHY THE HELL?! haha yea,same here.
And oh Wat ANIMAL has 4testicals?
Dude, think harder. yea ok it has like 4 legs, 2eyes, ok fine its furry? well kinda i think.
heh Fong asked me this. and i still think its lame. Answer : LION DANCE!
dude-.-
Hey have you ever wonder like..How does this guy know this guy and then knows this girl wchich knows this 1st guy's friend who knows this other friend who is like 2nd guy's friend? Dude the world is TOO small=)
and Kuan just filled me in with some crazy Avenged Sevenfold. Damn good guitarists!
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS HOT BTW!
oh,fine bye,

early morning blogging=)

2009-03-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

ok so like It's a Wednesday night, which means i was SUPPOSED to go back to my place tonight.
But no, my aunt pretended she didnt know I was going back today when this afternoon,
we went to the bakery and she bought me a loaf of bread and said "Take this back with you later".
OMG! tell me why i shouldnt be furious? So yea Im stuck here another night.
And NOT asleep because I don't wana go to bed and not be able to wake up early to send my grandparents to the airport tmr. Yeap,leaving at 5am,approximately 3hrs fr now.
And after they fly,Aunt better send me home! I dint stay up for NOTHING!
and so im doing things to keep me awake. For example going thru people's blog.
I dropped by Amirul's and omg was is beautiful!
http://nanaking.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/6-months-23-days-9-hours-28-minutes/#comment-64
In loving dedication to all AWESOME FICM JULY 08=) hehe.

oh and a really short and brief
THANKS TO KUAN
for staying up with me halfway thru my 'stay-up-process'
ther,ive blog aout you! =)

2009-03-04T02:46:00.000-08:00

ok so like its really terrible.
I went to get my number back in Celcom, and found out that there has been an outstanding bill of over rm500!!
then the lady said my phone was never barred until the 1st of march,
then again, my mum has already called celcom to bar my number on the 24th feb,after the stupid robbing incident.
they trace outgoing calls even after the 24th. Jesus.
BOTTOMLINE?
NOT paying the outstanding.
Getting NEW number.
AND my temporary number right now is 0149362791.

PEACE=)

Kill Me Already

2009-03-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

oh hello there
like i know its been awhile since i updated
and sorry ppl, i made u a little too much interested in my life.
See wat's been happening was that i had an early recruitment back to KL. omg why did i use recruitement? ugh
Its been like 3weeks since i got back and not knowing that stupid shitbags has beeen just around the corner.
2days before my 19th bday,some two friggin pair of balls had to like break into my room while i was outside watching a movie. Zack&Miri-Make A Porno.( its lousy )
then there they are,the two pair of balls, rumbling thru my stuff, fished my laptop. phone. and hamse's wallet.
and yea, they dropped sumtin and i went to check out wat it was, thinkin that Daisy made a mess.(Daisy is my cat,keep up with me)
sadly, it wasnt daisy, it was this asshole that i saw, jumpin ut my window. so ther u have it, POOF! my laptop and phone was never to be seen again.
Jesus, why cudnt it have been Daisy, just pooping all over. Id rather have that.
All the pictures...GONE=(
but oh well, pretty much gettin over that fact.
and yea my 19th bday!
AWESOME=) better than i expected!
hehe dont know when Belle is posting up the pics, but yea, ull see them soon!
MUAHHH!

BACK HOME<3

2009-01-27T09:37:00.000-08:00

hey people. Im finally home since like 3 days ago and have been out alot with virgil,nic,jehanne,kuan and johnson. thn today ive met up with boon hee and others at his open hse. so far so good=)
ntg interesting tho and im too lazy to upload pictures as its like near 2am.
i feel stoned.
i dont know what to do.
MISSING YOU PEOPLE bk in KL BTW=)

ALL IN ONE!

2009-01-17T03:34:00.000-08:00

Hello sweethearts.
What a damn BORING day it is.
Finals are in like *5days.
No, not studying.
BUT
Im going home soon!
For more than a month.
And list of things to do are..

1. CLUBS - sara on top list.
2. LABUAN - indulgence and spending on Duty Free ciggs & liquor.
(domestic flight cant buy shyt at the airport)
3. ISLANDS - I miss good sun
4. WATERSPORTS - cant swim but wtf right?
5. CELEBRATE 19th BDAY! ( im too cool to turn 19)
6. COLLECT angpous - shop!
7. learn to bloody COOK =S

anywys apart fr all these plannings,
I can't wait to just me with FAMILY again =P

xoxo

Speaking of the Bitch

2009-01-15T19:30:00.000-08:00

OK so I had a rather boring day yesterday, like nobody was home and jaz was downsttairs. I was tryin to log into blogspot but stupid internet sucked so bad, then of course some bitch had to call me screaming her ass of saying she doesnt owe me money. How on earth can she have so much SHAME to even say that? not only has she bankcrupted my month's allowance but she has also borrowed clothings and accesories, even when I was NOT HOME. thought I wouldn't find out eh? Well, its just tooo bad I watched a video of this bitch wearing one of my tops, Which I JUST BOUGHT AND HAVE NOT WORN! Hw dare she even try it on knowing her size is probly double of mine. OMG. and she borrows expensive things that not only have I died to buy, but also LOST them. and here she is saying that SHE DOESNT OWE ME!? oh and nt to mention the amount of money we gave you to LIVE! jesus, to think that I actually helped you disgust me, and everyone else. How unworthy you are. bring it on craphole. I have all the proves and witnesses in the world. My god, the nerves she has. Cut urself some slack! GO HOME!

2009-01-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

today seemed like it passed by in a blink.
it only gets deeper, how i feel for you.
i cant imagine leaving each other, being apart.
before we know it, it will be just tomorrow.
how will i learn to let go?

overestatic-ed!

2009-01-07T10:43:00.000-08:00

today seems like a really happy day. He played his parts right=) so sweet of him.
and happy birthday to HUZNI=DAfter long days of rehearsing & practices, our dearly event was a bash=D although not many showed up, we still had good feedbacks. it seems that things do always go right in the end. technical issues arised when the first scene of the play was goin on, but after all the panics, we got back on track just fine=)

Hamse is currently reading 'confessions of an air hostess'. how cute=) he enjoys it too much, started today and is already moving towards page 100. wonder wat isabelle is doin.and jaz too.
we are all locked up in our rooms. and dear goodness, Daisy is chasing her own shadow. her bell jingling like never before.

goin home in a couple of weeks,don't know what to look forward too apart from daddy mummy carmen and lance. miss them too much. hehhee..
class is at 1pm tmr! thts why im awake still. no need for early rest yet. though i think my eye bags are killing ppl who looks at me.
Daisy just jumped above heaven and is makin herself comfortable. Too much pampering for her!

2009!

2009-01-03T08:52:00.000-08:00

happy new year sweethearts! XD
i had an awesome countdown celebration altho it didnt involve any clubbing like i used to.
this year's was very subtle and totally awesome=)
we had our closest loves and had our first house party, and gosh did ppl get drunk!
and i got A CAT!!! woot woot!
after so long=D thanks to hamse of course! hehe!
see, her actual name is BLUE, then like.. we didnt really like it, so we said, BABY=)
then it turned into BABY BLUEBELLE.
then isabelle said DAISY.
yea, we dont know her name yet...

SCRATCH THE LAST POST

2008-12-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

ok bummer. hamse came up with a suprisee=D
he came home=D
i feel terrible for saying how upset i was, when it all turned into sumtin to make me feel happier=)
so awesome but at the same time, uncooolll.hehe
ARGH!

LOVE YOU HAMSE!
i know ur reading=)
hotass! hehe stop smiling dummy!
xoxoxoxo

i am the toughest girl i know.

2008-12-27T04:58:00.000-08:00

so tell me again why am i not in tears?
because i feel stupid for always being there waiting for you,
just letting you do me like im nothing.

'why do you build me up,buttercup baby just to let me down?'

sial!

2008-12-25T06:41:00.000-08:00

she sees the mistakes she'd done in the past.
she sees how much she has hurt in more than one person.
she wants to let them know how very sorry she was.

for being the one who was his first heartbreak.
for being the one who he loves so much,
so much that she cheated on him.

she wants to say to the one that she has let go of too.
for not holding on and for making life confusing everyday.
she wants to say to him that she wish she had told him too, that she loved him.
only that she was too much of a coward fearing rejection.

she wants to say sorry to the one she had her life straightened with.
she gave the happiness up, only to find something harder.

she knows all the hatred on her she has put in everyone she has hurt.
but if she would just get one chance to show how truly sorry she was,
she would take it in a flash.

and if she was brave enough to say this,
she would say..
this is me.

Lonely XMAS post.

2008-12-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

hey lovers and xmas celebrators. this year's xmas is officially to most boring one.
no family
no friend-cuz they got their family.
god how i wish i was back home in KK, everybdy is having the time of their life while im here, not doing anything.
but then im at my aunt's place in Puchong now, its awesome. to think tht ive been not wnting to come. now i see ive got into big loss. hehe.
its a beautiful plce, i myt sneak sum picture taking to show u guys=) hehe
god i cant wait for hamse to come home.
and i hope new years is so much better.
missing everyone!

A post from ISABELLE

2008-12-24T00:55:00.001-08:00

HELLO

we are boyfriend-less

we are sad

she is eating maggi goreng ayam

i am typing this

she is noisy

she is skinny

she is whiny

she just kicked me

stupid crystal

2008-12-20T04:47:00.000-08:00

hey there people=) omg lastnight, instead of seeing and fulfilling the need to study, we indulged ourselves in an awesome chinese film, IP MAN! dear lord, you guys should not even think about missing this as it was so perfectly awesome. its got such good actors and story lines and ofcourse, the stunts were amazing!
even hamse, who is no where near a chinese, enjoyed the movie so very much. i swear, if this 'movie mania' guy can enjoy and love it, you would too~!
anyhu im currently in the pool area of college and finally finished an assignment. 2 more to go tho. but yea.. i just dont understand why they wud give us assignments thats due on the same dates as our exams. god.. we have to study u knw?!
anyhu..ive been practicaly emo these few days. and i mean it. im not whinin watsoever. but i wish i could just pretend ntg happened and that i dont see problems arnd me. well if it was tht easy, hah.. nvm its just not important i guess because ive gave in so much, i guess giving in a lil more wudnt be hard for me.

"what's another hour or two of waiting for you? i've already waited half of the day."

The New Song =)

2008-12-18T02:17:00.000-08:00

it was a busy day when we were all sitting at the mamak tryin to sell candy canes.
then i opened isabelle's book of doodles and scribbles and notes.
i saw a random 'drawing' describin xmas. then there was two ornaments tht looked distorted with the wordings 'jinglebell rock' or sumtin like that arnd it.
then i came up randomly with a song and sang it to everybody at the table

JINGLEBELL, ISABELLE, CRYSTALBELLE ROCKS!=P

hahaha just one like la.
then after class ah, we sat at the mamak again.
then syaz randomly came up with a line to continue the song.

jinglebell isabelle crystalbelle rocks
syazwan and hamse provide the cock.

BLODDY HELL! crazy randomness, it came out spontaneously i suppose, its good but reli reli bad too. tsk tsk syaz, i never knew this side of u. dont wna knw more abt it too. haha.

i wanna go midnight movie tonight la.
amelia and jean pls la, come la.
and and steph ah, u ah, if u dont come this weekend, ima whack u so hard!

=)

2008-12-17T03:11:00.000-08:00

yay yay mcdonalds answered. yumm. im not that moody no more =)
ish im lonely. hamse gaming with his new girl downstairs (XBOX360)
syaz n belle sleeping. grrr
i dont wna do assignment alone, its like abt operation lalang and may13!
its under msian media history, why da heck do we need to learn it anyways?
jeez i just went downstairs, hamse and azrul are crzy playing till they dont even have the fan on.
its so hot and they are that lazy to switch it on,goodness. xbox does stupid things to them.
aiya im whining alot la, nobody wants to hear it =(
im so sad

sob sob

LOUSY

2008-12-17T03:03:00.000-08:00

my head is pounding
flu keeps running outta my nose
tissues are running out
im killin trees
im hungry
no operator is picking up my call for Mcdonalds!
i have a ton of assignments
i have exams during xmas
i cant go home
xmas and new yr is shitty for sure
its hot
no aircon
internet is gettin boring
so much complains
attempt for mcD again..
stupid song playin while im on hold.
im pretty broke btw.
im still on hold.
WTF??!! no answer=(

CRY!

XBOX 360!

2008-12-16T03:09:00.000-08:00

aloha darlings=) today's been a rather sad day for me.
Im sick first of all. the bright side?-i missed class.
jazryn got mad at belle syaz and i, some misunderstanding we are tryin hard to solve. the bright side?-eh..NOTHING!
and and hamse bought new xbox360! freaK! i wasnt even informed. jesus =) bright side?-muahaha,belle&i partners in crime =P
hmm got plenty assignments la, and like exam next week, so soon.
i dont even know anythin abt malaysian media history cz our lecturer only talks abt her luxurious life, blablabla. watever!
and english is ok, cant wait for our event =P
and IT, best lecturer so far, he teaches! and doesnt brag, and oh, lets us off early from class! hehe.
damn its boring. sigh.

Facebook Stupidity

2008-12-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

as you guys should know, isabelle and i are barely 5feet away from eachother but we are talking thru facebook. see what internet do to people? it makes us lazy =P